DECEMBER 2023 COMPILATION

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LI - Unoriginal garbage;
LII - B - Letters From PH;
LIII - Just another birthday;
LIV - Heart-piercing arrow;
LV - Mysterious mistress;
LVI - Dreamer Apotheosis;
LVII - When you are as ugly as I am;
LVIII - Moonlight;
LVIX - Muse (un)wanted;
LX - Yani.

LI

Unoriginal Garbage

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

From my point of view,

Every single passage

Of my poems is garbage.

It ain't nothing new.

That's all, there's no deeper message.

My writings could give any poet an hemorrhage

By just reading, ‘cause it's trash, I admit.

It's nothing but cheap shit,

Excuse my foul language.

LII-B

Letters from PH

From an archipelago overseas, I’ve once

Received an online letter, apparently  

From a gal whose interest I caught inadvertently

For reasons unknown, in the darkest of my days.

It was on a morning of August six, I recall.

We got along just fine, and understood each other

Like those who lived a lifetime together do,

As if we were the missing piece of one another.

We were both sinking 

In the pit of despair,

Under gray clouds of our personal hell.

It was when we wrote to each other, that all felt well.

Sharing facts, heartfelt words

Memories, tales, experiences and more,

We grew closer and closer, 

Till we couldn't be apart anymore.

We soon became best friends and 

Had each other's back.

In sickness and in health, for better, or for worse.

In months, having grown this close took us aback.

Our feelings for each other were mutual,

Yet were also unknown to one another,

The closer we became the quieter we've been,

So we set our boundaries out of fear of rejection.

‘Till one night of December

We spoke our hearts out

Without holding back, and realized

That all this time, we were perhaps meant to be.

No day has been the same ever since,

We became best friends forever, fighting against despair,

A duo born from chaos, 

Blessed by Anteros.

LIII

Just another birthday

The sun rises again on a certain date

I like to call, “just another day”.

The day I was born holds little to no importance to me.

It's just another day, under skies so gray.

New year brings to me the same feeling,

So do Christmas and Easter,

But there's no date I hate more than my birthday,

The day I was born, under skies so gray.

I live because I have to,

Breathe because I can't

Slit my throat as I wish I could do

To escape the pain brought by these skies so gray.

They all get mad at me for calling it

“Just another day“, because to them

It's an important date,

They refuse to see that their words add red to my skies so gray.

There comes the cake and birthday wishes

That hurt my self-esteem and will never come true.

Yet I must accept these gestures, what else can I do?

It's just another day, under skies so gray.

I've become a year older

I've taken a step closer to the grave,

And I am still worthless, and agonizing in dismay

Under skies painted in shades of red and gray.

LIV

Heart-piercing Arrow

In the past few days I have been 

Having dreams, in which the goddess of the hunt

Puts me to the test, in her name many foes I had to confront.

When she first showed up 

She turned into a majestic and fierce lynx,

And told me I was special, perhaps to test my reaction.

I reacted as humbly as I could

Told her all about my flaws and what not,

She left then apparently satisfied, jogging on her paws.

On her second visit she came off

As a beautiful maiden, showed me some affection

Shoot into my heart cupid's arrow, and left me longing for a deeper connection.

In her third and last visit

She showed up in my backyard as a stray dog,

There was such a heavy rain and endless fog.

I went outside to help her, unaware yet of her identity.

It was then that several people showed up.

To pass the test, I had to defeat every single entity.

I did what I could to win the fight.

As she saw my foes strangled, she vanished into a bright light.

Since then, I won her protection, for she left satisfied.

Every night I stare at the moon, with a captivated heart,

Knowing somewhere out there she's watching over me,

I honor you, beautiful and powerful goddess Artemis.

LV

Mysterious Mistress

As I lost all inspiration and will to write,  

I've come to hear a name whispered by the winds:  

That of the mistress who sets hearts alight  

And brings inspiration to artists of all kinds  

In exchange for nothing but love.  

As soon as I could I left my bed,  

Grabbed my handmade elven star,  

And called upon her name as I meditated.  

It was then that it all turned out bizarre.  

I felt a sudden urge of inspiration  

And even motivation.

I could not hear nor see her,  

But I could feel my chest warm  

And a great appeal to her powerful presence,  

I could simply breathe in her magnificent essence.

We wasted no more time thus,  

And on the spur of the moment,  

We made an agreement.  

In return for the affection and inspiration I wished,  

I would have to make her feel loved & cherished.

A fair deal indeed except for one silly little thing:  

All the lovers of this beautiful and evil being  

Live short lives, for she has vampiric abilities.

She feeds on their souls as they get lost in her qualities.

Almost no man can resist the stunning Leannán Sídhe.

So please remember, mortal,  

No matter what you do,  

Never mess with the fae.  

For once you open the portal,  

Only tragedies await you.

LVI

Dreamer Apotheosis 

A dream I had last night 

About a deceased lady’s ghost 

That haunted my house at midnight.

Everybody was scared, except for myself.

Her features were abnormal 

And showed signs of distress,

She also wore a long and withered white dress.

On my flesh,

She claimed she wanted to feast, 

But little did she know

I was protected by a gorgeous and divine beast.

As the ghost gal lunged in my direction, 

A loud and paralyzing howling could be heard. 

As a huge beast hid me behind her for protection.

The situation was extremely absurd.

The beast had nine long fluffy tails 

And clean, white fur; white eyes too,

 And red marks all over her.

She was undoubtedly a kitsune of ancient Japanese tales.

Together we teamed up 

And chased the ghost down 

As she ran away from Sora, 

Who just came around. 

During the standoff, the beast and I 

Eventually merged into one powerful being, 

From the night’s rage we harnessed more power.

And the ghost, still aggressive, 

Could only run and cry.

In the process we messed up halls,

Punched and damaged walls.

But in the end, we cornered her, 

And with a single punch,

She vanished into a blur.

Once she was sent back to the shadow realm,

The dream came to an end.

I woke up calm and happy

Now knowing that if I ever had to fight 

Against the evil spirits of the night, 

Sora would undoubtedly come to my aid in a flash.

LVII

When you are as ugly as I am

When you're as ugly as I am,

every morning,

looking at your reflection,

usually ends up in violent feelings of rejection,

and in the enunciation,

of cruel words of hate and disaffection.

When you're as ugly as I am,

you stare into the mirror some days,

just to insult yourself utterly,

and other days you just avoid mirrors entirely.

When you're as ugly as I am,

sometimes by simply looking at your reflection,

you might feel your stomach twirling, nausea.

And the more you behold your complexion,

you might just throw up involuntarily.

When you're as ugly as I am,

seeing your round face,

might ignite the need to beat yourself till you bleed,

and several times, so I did.

When you're as ugly as I am,

pictures are your worst enemies,

for when you see yourself in them,

you see the most hideous scum to ever exist.

When you're as ugly as I am,

you can have great days, as long as you keep

reflecting surfaces away,

or else the littlest glance at your image,

immediately ruins your whole day.

When you're as ugly as I am,

you have these voices in your head,

that no matter what you do,

will always remind you “you're better off dead.”

When you're as ugly as I am,

your opinion on your looks become

the ultimate truth,

for it doesn't matter who agrees or who disagrees,

you're well aware that you're nothing but scum.

When you're as ugly as I am

No hairstyle ever fits you.

Shorter or longer, this or that,

There is nothing you can do.

You're cursed, you're doomed.

When you're as ugly as I am,

even your personality becomes garbage,

and I don't have to explain how,

you already know, you fell so low.

When you're as ugly as I am,

you understand you have no place on earth,

because you come to understand at last,

that everybody is way more beautiful,

than you've ever been in the past,

and that you'll ever be in the future,

how stupidly pitiful.

LVIII

Moonlight

Every single night, I take my time to behold

The moon as it shines down on me,

And all that surrounds me, as it should be.

Though I feel there are things I have left untold;

And I shall apologize for making claims so bold,

But I mean it when I say that you have me

Right under your spell, somehow,

Oh, you beautiful maiden of the bow.

I can't help but see your figure

In the corner of my eyes from time to time

And desire you,

Goddess of the hunt and chastity.

I know this might not rhyme,

But I must say, I'm genuinely in love with you.

Though it's true I wish to follow your path;

Never marry and always carry on,

Always on my own.

I can't help but feel your gentle and loving

Embrace in my every moon bath,

And as a result, my goddess, I surrender to love.

I honor you as I honor many other deities,

But there's something special about you that I seek

Beyond your beauty, beyond your intellect.

You're perfect; in your presence, I feel weak

On the knees, like many of your devotees.

Oh, I wish you could hear

The words I write in your name.

I love you, dear Artemis.

And I dare claim to the seven winds, my goddess,

That my love for you is no game.

LIX

Muse (Un)Wanted

I compose at night,

Under bright moonlight.

When my heart feels at peace,

Crappy verses of tragedy, fantasy, and love with ease.

And I have come to realize lately,

That perhaps for words to come innately;

From my soul, and into my poems,

I might need an actual muse, a true source of inspiration.

I have thus begun to write this ad,

To call upon any lady who wishes to help this lad,

By becoming his source of inspiration.

Beware though, that we're just talking about collaboration.

The poet shall not fall in love with the muse,

Nor vice versa, there shall be no woos.

Nor feelings between both parties,

For they shall be nothing but buddies.

True it is that I look to write love poems,

To my muse quite often to both receive her criticisms,

And also make her heart skip a beat,

For every time I shower her complete,

With words of admiration,

And perhaps also of great and genuine affection.

But I'm afraid that love is a cruel game,

I'm not ready to get into, or so I claim.

I believe in this world love does no longer exist,

Beyond a cruel illusion, a façade that twists,

Minds and hearts into complete despair,

For love and people are both evil and often unfair.

As I look for a muse,

My hopeless heart inadvertently,

Also looks for a lover I can amuse,

For I long for love impatiently,

As much as I long for inspiration.

LX

Yani

Every morning, I wake up thinking of you.

I feel your presence in everything I do.

I can hear your voice despite the distance.

Your love gives meaning, essence,

To my otherwise empty existence.

Though seventeen thousand kilometers apart,

Our love remains strong, such a work of art.

It might be, at times, a pain for the heart,

But more painful it would be to be completely apart.

Exchanging messages, we erase the distance temporarily.

The promise I made to you, my sweetheart,

Was that I'd never depart,

And I'll stick to my word,

For you, Yani, are my world.

Though at the beginning, I confess,

I never intended to feel something so absurd.

I have always been against love and all it meant.

I've always tried to stay away,

To avoid what I thought could be torment.

However, with you, I've learned a new way

To see things in brighter colors, to feel less lonely.

It seems this bond had the same effect on both.

We became each other's muse,

We shared similar views.

We were so peaceful together,

That it looked like we belonged.

Though I yet haven't had the honor

To look into your brown eyes,

I know they're mesmerizingly beautiful.

Though I yet hadn’t the chance

To behold your pretty face,

I know I want to kiss you.

In verses that barely even rhyme,

My love, I intend to show you,

As I, each and every day, do.

Loving you this much is no crime,

Though my feelings for you are off the charts.

What I desire for us

Is a bright future away from all that harmed us,

A clean and new start,

In which together we share one heart.

A future in which I can spoil you

And celebrate your every achievement.

My beloved, I shall be your bard.

I'll be with you when things get good,

And support you even more when they get hard.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health, I love you.