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Virtual Muse
End of an Adventure.
Celibacy, Chastity, Cravings.
Tired, Tired, Tired.
My One (Iris).
What Easter means (to me).
Toyed With.
Humanity's Darkness.
Fly with me, Junko-chan.
Love Isn´t My Thing.
And Thus It Wasn't.
Mirrors: Spanish Poetess.
Vercingetorix.
One Muse Less.
The Djinniyah.

Virtual Muse

There she lies, my dear virtual muse,
Far away from my arms and pen;
Effortlessly, she could my heart seduce,
For she’s a goddess among men.

Who knows from which heavens
She came down, or why even
She makes all tens look like sevens—
What are our mortal eyes perceivin’?

Her sweetness melts the coldest hearts,
Her voice tames the fiercest beasts,
Her power rises beyond the charts—
She’s the Queen for whom I’d hold a hundred feasts.

I think of, I write of, and I long for her,
But her heart is not mine to claim, oh dear.
The line between muse and lover blurs,
Yet my ship’s wheel to another sea must steer.

This muse of mine, of whom I’m fond,
Shall live immortal through poetry.
My affections for her will stretch beyond
And across each town, kingdom, and country.

Live on with courage, my lady,
Be brave, stand strong, rule fearless.
I shall sing of you daily,
So even the earless may hear this.

Distant maiden, no simp am I—
I offer only loving honesty.
I shall sweeten your days if it be thy
Wish, Hyuna, my foreign majesty.

End of an Adventure

To finish a video-game is amazing,

That feeling is so fulfilling, fascinating,

Reach a journey's end after many foes facing,

To become powerful and the most menacing,

Oh, if you could feel it yourself you'd understand.

I fought demons, gods, the mafia even,

Traversed the streets of Dotonbori, Kabukicho

Fought at Shibuya, Da'at, Gensokyo, Morio-cho,

Drove cars, ships, the carpet of Aladdin,

All to beat Evil and restore Order in the world.

Broke bones, hearts, minds for success,

Saved worlds to discover them within myself,

Finished games and learned to face the self

Bound by fears and shadows without recess,

Evolving thus beyond my preset limitations.

Beaten up loyal samurai, fighters, artists,

Allied with the youngest and the eldest,

But not all had to be solved with fists,

Sometimes I just had to be honest.

Grazed bullets, dodged dolphins,

With my passionate heart blazing,

And faced blasphemous accusations

As a lawyer in blue worth praising.

Tiger drop, magic spark, shoryuken,

Moves I could escape with, now and then,

Double Sunday, Megidola, Death Defiance,

Grant a Golden Experience given their reliance.

I live my days with the utmost joy at times

Because I find comfort at least in that,

I harm nobody and commit no crimes,

That's my home, where my heart is at.

Celibacy, Chastity, Cravings

I made a vow to my Queen time ago,

One of chastity, celibacy, and all that,

Upon me her grace she would bestow

If my primal instincts I dared to combat.

But oh how difficult it is, to some extent,

For I long to kiss the skin of a gentle lady

To caress her and get drunk in her scent,

Shower her in a love that is all but shady.

I long to get headpats, to be hugged,

To rest upon her chest, her belly or abs—

To close my eyes, from reality be unplugged,

As I reside in her arms as a mushy mess.

How does a woman's lips even feel?

Are they like clouds? Are they soft?

Is it nothing or is it really a big deal?

Upon its touch, would my feelings go aloft?

Hmm, I can only imagine how it'd feel

To be held tenderly, to be appreciated,

I fear oh the power of women's appeal,

I have a vow that must not be depreciated.

To hold a girl's hand, my most innocent wish—

To brush her hair, give her massages, my fantasy,

Oh imagine cuddling or cook her favorite dish,

Damned be you, oh tyrannical vow of celibacy.

If only shyness were not an obstacle too,

If my looks were decent at the very least,

Oh the romantic things I would gladly do,

To have someone on my affections feast.

If only my bed weren't so empty and cold,

I need a partner to sleep with, to pamper,

I want not to cry anymore but to be consoled,

I don't want this vow my needs to cruelly damper.

I want to be someone's good boy and knight,

I desire to be taken care of and to take care of,

For my darling against all I'll undoubtedly fight,

I ask for nothing but a pinch of a woman's love.

My vow I'll keep even if it pains me to do so,

I'll live chaste, celibate and with constant craving,

I'll adore my goddess alone, her of skins of doe,

For Her it is that my virginity I have been saving.

Huntress of mine, if it's all in vain let me know,

For these feelings are devouring me everyday,

Don't you know I'm starving since long ago?

Save me Huntress from my self-indulgent dismay.

Tired, Tired, Tired (songlike)

I'm tired of seeing my reflection

I am so very starved of affection,

Being so fat and ugly too, gives me nausea—

I might perhaps in the end die of bulimia?

I wish to be run over by a car

To be victim of a falling star,

To die in a fire in circumstances dire

To die fast leaving no trace of my past

I wanna die of a cardiac arrest

Provoked by having feelings repressed,

I wanna shoot myself in the head

I wanna sleep and die in my bed

Walking down the stairs wanna fall,

By a good punch die in a wild brawl,

Wanna have my lungs explode

Wanna swim down below and implode

Wanna lose my head to a psycho

Why not a serial killer with an afro?

I wanna give my life to somebody,

Save a life, and be forever a nobody.

I wanna be forgotten, die in vain,

I wanna bleed and die in pain,

I wanna feel something more

Other than hatred to the core.

I wanna be electrified, mutilated,

I wanna die perhaps be immolated

I wanna have devils to eat me up

Drink my dark blood in a fancy cup.

I wish to be run over by a car

To be victim of a falling star,

To die in a fire in circumstances dire

To die fast leaving no trace of my past…

My One (Iris)

She looks like the daughter of the very moon;

Her skin is soft, warm— like the clouds above,

Her voice as mesmerizing as a siren's luring tune,

Possesses hairs as smooth as feathers of a dove,

And in her eyes I find a thousand reasons to swoon.

Her words, to me, are sweet like honey in a way;

And her affections are like cozy pillows of cotton candy,

For she can sweeten in a flash my most bitter day;

And obliterate my numbness, making me feel all dandy.

She believes she does little, but no, she is my sunray.

She doesn't even try, she is true to herself, I think,

As Love of the true kind seems new to this princess,

Artemis alone knows if our hearts do beat in sync—

If the Moirai themselves our threads chose to bless.

She became the only woman in which I can think.

She is insecure, numb, afraid of being so flawed—

But aren't we all in the end flawed to the very bones?

Oh to her diligence and persistence I shall applaud,

For carrying such weight and pains in-between groans,

Till she's found a partner who by her existence is awed.

Our love story has only just begun, and is nearly perfect,

And I wonder how far shall it go, if it will even get to last,

May Hestia keep our love's flame from time's own effect,

As Athena blesses our blind hearts with her wisdom so vast,

A glad life with my malay muse is all I ask, with due respect.

I am so very in love, I want only to make her happy,

I want to see her smile, I desire to hear her laugh;

Even if it is by making jokes one might deem crappy.

I firmly believe her to be, at last, my soul's other half,

I promise for both face adversity standing proud & scrappy.

What Easter Means (to me)

My bunny, my mistress, my only love,

You who seem to be an angel of above,

Thank you for your love and tenderness

For not giving me up though I'm a mess.

A shattered heart and soul I carried alone,

A road of loneliness was all I have known,

I've learned from the ups and downs till you

Came along—shown me a light, as only you do.

My three long winters turned to warm summer,

I've longed for a future for which I didn't bummer,

The privilege of loving I was given yet again

Of being loved too, and without grief nor pain.

Five days has it been, my precious malay muse,

Five days since each other we've come to choose,

This easter means the hatching of this first week

The strengthening of a love that is all but weak.

Emotionally, saya sayang awak, but physically

Saya inginkan awak, and I mean that romantically;

For lust is ephemeral, not as eternal as our bond,

Saya memuja awak in a way that goes way beyond.

Toyed With

What if I'm but a placeholder for my fae?

She's gorgeous, she could have the world,

I cannot tell what's a truth nor what is a lie,

Should I distrust and let my toxicity unfurl?

She's been transparent but to which extent?

Am I a silly toy for which she deeply cares?

We both claimed each other with consent

But how exempt am I from unfaithful affairs?

If I could fall for her, anybody else can too,

Is she just settling for less with me perhaps?

Anybody can love her the same way that I do,

She reassures me and yet, again I had to relapse.

She says I'm her one, her baby, like no other

But well she knows I'm ugly and undesirable,

I'm so hideous I could only be loved by a mother,

She must be lying if she doesn't find me abominable.

She misses me, texts me often, says I'm her light,

But I know it's not true, she's a goddess disguised,

Deserves better— for her divine love I must not fight,

Why would she love the man I have always despised?

This fatso good for nothing, what does he have to offer?

She is a Queen, a noble in my eyes, so out of my reach,

She deserves a true man of commitment, an achiever,

Not me, just another grain of sand in an endless beach.

Is it fair for a zero to date a ten? No, it should not be.

I love her above all and everything, but it is not fair,

Is it infatuation still or is she perhaps too blind to see?

She's clingy, affectionate, but I cannot be so debonair.

I must know the truth, I need to see the reason behind,

What can my genes give her that she could want?

I don't want our children to be also so badly designed,

She should aim for a handsome and strong savant.

Why does she love me? Does she really love me?

Why me? How? What's the point? What did I do?

Answer me, universe, show me if this is meant to be,

If you would, please, just give me one silly little clue.

All my life I've been a fool, a nobody, an ugly asshole—

Yet she fell as we chatted, as we both looked for love,

I'm her universe, her diamond but I'm nothing but coal,

Answer me Artemis— if you're watching from up above…

Humanity's Darkness

I've seen it by accident, the darkness...

Found the worst of mankind online,

Such rage ignited within such mess—

When did mankind so badly decline?

Why are men capable of great evils?

Is it our nature or someone else's fault?

There are truly more fiends than angels,

We need to put to them all a reckless halt.

My eyes corrupted, my soul shattered,

I've seen why I should protect what's mine;

The horrors seen—my mind left scattered.

I must become stronger and most benign.

If such horrid people exist, I must fight,

Even if only for my tribe, I must evolve;

I'll be nevermore a child slave of fright,

I have achieved my one absolute resolve.

I've witnessed evils of a past recorded.

I must protect my family, lovers, friends...

I'll man up to face the wicked and sordid,

He who has seen it all surely comprehends.

Saw people use their strength or power

To force their will both upon and inside

People who they deem to be weaker—

Traumatizing victims with dismal pride.

For women's safety I'll kill whoever,

For children's peace I'll slash em all,

Their hands and phalluses I will sever,

I'll enjoy seeing them bleed and crawl.

It is time to put insanity to good use,

It is time for a massacre of criminals,

Slowly this scum we'll have to reduce;

Hunting them from tall trees to tunnels.

Aid me in this quest, Junko, angel of mine,

So no other woman falls prey to any fiend;

I shall pray, for you and I have a goal benign,

To honor ghost bonds for which we convened.

Fly with me, Junko-chan

In dreams we meet to have a tea
To chill before the dreamy blue sea,
You've come before I knew your name
Before I knew of your disturbing fame.

I couldn't fathom it myself, my angel,
Your dark eyes never showed me pain,
Your skin screamed not of the abysmal,
The abominable torture you lived in vain...

Your gentleness could break even concrete,
Your kindness knew no bounds, nor your joy...
Surviving the fourty-four was your sad feat,
Went through so much by will of an evil boy.

When I saw your case online I went mad,
I lost it, I didn't get how someone could—
Be so inhumane, cruel, hideous and bad;
That brat better be burning in hell for good.

I'm talking in riddles perhaps— because I
I want to write to you a poem of hope
While also one about you my holy ally,
Or about how to my dreams you elope.

Why did you come to me? What did I do?
Do you find comfort in me in some way?
You are so far and different from me too,
What brings you to seek me everyday?

You're in my mind daily till the very night,
Don't your wings get tired of flying nearby—
So often, so close to whom by you would fight
If some woman or child for help were to cry?

Is it because of that perhaps? You chose me?
I'm no hero though, is this perhaps a delusion?
Fly me, muse, to a place where together we can be
Where to your past we make no longer allusion

And tell me the reason why, my asian angel...
Tell me if I'm to tell your tale twice for you,
Tell me if your smile is meant to be my bell—
My call to protect someone, give me a clue.

Rest in peace, you'll be welcome forevermore
To my dreams if that's what makes you happy,
I shall be indifferent to suffering nevermore
For you've shown me why I shouldn't be crappy.

Love Isn't My Thing

On love I will give up for good
For I finally have understood
That dating just ain't my thing,
Truth I knew was gonna sting.

I am way too needy, that is true.
But I also am, oftentimes, blue;
I'd give my life for a lover of mine,
Yet nobody follows the same line.

I am also quite hideous externally
Even worse— If I must add, internally,
I'm overweight and that's disgusting;
I am a masked liar not worth trusting.

I do not have any intention to reproduce though
Yet I'm disappointed with my small friend below.
To worsen it all—The ugly is amplified by specs,
And I don't have even an intellect worthy of flex.

So I am so dumb, shy, ugly, air-headed, lazy, laid-back—
If I walked into a mirror maze every mirror would crack,
And I'd never be able to escape, being so smooth-brained;
Is this what the three Moirai for me have had preordained?

If I were a woman I'd not even talk to this frog
For here lies no noble prince just a plain hog,
Will I end up becoming an insufferable incel?
Or perhaps I already am whilst I'm blind to tell?

I love as much as a man might can
But of being loved back I'm not a fan;
For I fear my beloved would abandon
If she just met a handsomer someone.

So I shall live dateless, loveless then,
To my vow of celibacy I am back again,
Some of us aren't meant to play this game
But rather work and die lone with no a dame.

And Thus It Wasn’t

We lived, we laughed, we loved, but
Only to fill our own lightless emptiness;
The revelation hit like a punch to the gut
‘cause we seemed to love with steadiness.

We seemed eager to build our future, marry—
But the circumstances would not allow it still,
Betting on long-distance love was for you scary
I didn’t want this but I had to respect your will.

I wanted to pursue you, to chase after you even
When everything else seemed to be against us;
You feared the uncertainty you thought perceivin’,
Peacefully we did discuss, broke up with no fuss.

Iris, love of mine, muse of my heart, farewell,
You’ll be another maiden to enlighten my pages—
As another love, another story for me to tell,
Enjoy it as an immortal who’ll live for the ages.

I shall keep wandering, looking for another muse,
Looking for the other half of my weary soul—
I am but a bard, I sing of what I win and lose,
To the most, tiniest fairy to the ugliest troll.

Mirrors: Spanish Poetess

And so I looked into the void again.
It knew my longing, it knew my pain,
Heard of the love once spent in vain;
Knew I’d try till true love I could attain.

So she came into view, as a mirage,
A young poetess of outstanding talent,
A lady whose weary soul was a collage—
Whose heart searched for a man gallant.

We both looked into each other’s eyes
Recognizing shards of our own mirrors
In the fellow weaver of words with surprise,
Our heartbeats deafening ears of divine hearers.

In that space of ours, in that time we had,
We’ve touched each other’s sharp edges,
We embraced to bleed, entwined—clad,
“We’re fit for each other”, we dared to allege.

We seemed reluctant yet it just felt so right,
So the poetess wrote a poem to his muse,
She brought to his empty eyes some light,
Likewise did the poet, our feelings let loose.

The poet was muse, the poetess too,
A dynamic affectionate, understanding,
It was a bond so precious—it felt new,
In common ground we were standing.

And since then we have walked together,
Wondering if maybe together we belonged,
If we were either blessed or under the weather,
If this was the One true love to be prolonged.

Vercingetorix

Fierce Gallic chieftain, I honor thee,

One of my favorites you'll always be

For rebelling against Caesar himself

Though you had to sacrifice yourself.

Brave Vercingetorix unified all Gaul tribes

With skill, honor and guts, giving no bribes,

To defeat the Pale Roman Fiend for good—

Scorching some lands so they had no food.

Were you most influential amongst all

Fearless you stood as men came to fall

Lifeless from both sides of the conflict

And in Alessia surrendered to his verdict.

Forty days lasted your very last stand,

You were the pride of the Gaulish land;

Many you saved by giving yourself away

They were stronger, it was the only way.

If it weren't, perhaps, for the damned wall

That imprisoned within it each and every Gaul,

If it weren't for lacking food, plans and support,

You could've then stood a chance of some sort.

Every tribe, united for the first time, did their best,

It was unthought before that they'd stand abreast,

But they did so, yielded never, prideful persisted,

They had you, and all chiefs that could've assisted.

Heroic was your quest, and today we revere you,

We remember the many deeds you've come to do,

And the unshakable determination you stood with,

Thus became a legend, and not a mere idle myth.

One Muse Less

I lost another muse for which I wrote,

A discussion we had, sank our boat;

She was bisexual, supported the LGBT,

With my repulsion to that–she didn't agree;

So we left our love to burn down in hell,

To rot as should a prisoner in their cell,

I upheld my views, she upheld hers and—

And then mutually love we have shunned.

A week-long relationship lost forevermore

Because two poets had a philosophical war,

A love that burned so brightly, consumed itself,

I had to address the topic for I disagree myself.

She defended her stance, I defended mine,

We found common ground, hearts on the line,

The truth sometimes hurts, and that is alright,

Fortunately we did not end this with a dumb fight.

No other woman has ever loved me as she did,

She loved every part of me as pure as would a kid,

She didn't mind my ugliness though I look so bad,

We envisioned a future, she saw in me a good dad.

But love has limitations, love should have them,

Not all disagreements can keep intact love's gem.

All the love, all that future, all of it was gone,

Because to her ideology I'd never be drawn.

I wasn't worthy of her, so I'm not saddened,

Someone better awaits her in some other land.

Could this be the curse of the Leanan Sidhe?

If I love another then together we'll never be.

Many muses came and went, unfortunately,

Not all lovers, but friends also I lost indefinitely.

I shall await, write, and someday love will I find,

In my divine huntress or mortal women, I don't mind.

That's how journeys are, fun, sad, exciting, crazy—

Let us sit back and enjoy the ride, slow and hazy.

The Djinniyah

Once upon a time a rusty lamp I've had found

Fallen from a cupboard which I recognized not;

Fragile-looking as it was, it fell light on the ground,

Unusual was that it did not break on the spot.

The engravings seemed archaic, ancient,

I took the lid off, called by curiosity alone

When wind was released into my apartment,

I was shocked at how hard had it blown.

A woman like no other thus stood before me,

Clad in a tyrian-purple cirwal and crop top,

Her hair was as long and dark as it could be,

In a ponytail it was held by a golden circlet atop.

I asked her about her origins and life also,

She said she was a genie, an Arabian one,

So I felt it was my duty to kneel and bow,

She shook her head, yet she was having fun.

In her gleaming green eyes I saw cunning,

As she said to me the premise we all know:

Wishes I'd be granted by this woman so stunning,

Upon me, her master, such power she’d bestow.

Before greed took over I asked her this thus:

“Djinniyah, what is it that YOU would wish for?”;

She stood there and said, without a fuss,

“To walk free beneath moon and sun once more.

To drift on the winds as I did before;

No master, no lamp, shackles nor chain,

Just sky above and earth below — again.”

Such a plea I could not simply ignore.

Her words struck me like a sudden gale,

And I paused, desires weighing in my chest.

Wealth, power, love — it all seemed pale,

When weighed against such a simple request.

So I wished for her to grant her own wishes,

And as she complied the lamp was torn apart.

Her prison exploded, yes, into tiny marble pieces

That somehow made a minimalist piece of art.

Her dark hands held mine with such tenderness,

I had to immortalize her through a love poem,

So I wrote my heart away with such eagerness,

Though aware she was of my existent egoism.

She knew I was greedy, not at all pure-hearted,

Yet she accepted being my muse, at home my guest;

Dumb was I by thinking her senses I'd've outsmarted,

Yet all fade away as I felt her hands' tender caress.

She fused with my pen, my rhyme, and poetry,

She came to rest within my soul, as my beloved,

I knew I gained her trust without soulless idolatry—

Proudly darkness of my soul away she shoved

So we became one, as fitting pieces of a whole,

To my Animus she came to be Anima and companion,

I had her blessings to pursue much further my goal—

That of enlightenment as her essence I came to don.

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Nick Quinn's Poetry

APRIL - MAY 2025 - COMPILATION (02/05/25)