JANUARY COMPILATION (17 / 01 / 25)

•  The Emperor (To Symboli Rudolf).
• I Wish I Never Met Her.
• [PLACEHOLDER TITLE] 

The Emperor (To Symboli Rudolf)

Long ago was born a legend in far Nippon lands,

Who seemed to claim the world from an early age,

An Emperor destined to hold the world in his hands—

Or hooves, and leave his mark on history’s page.

He graced the world with determination and regality,

And earned many honorable victories on the track,

Making by instinct alone his noble dreams a reality;

Nothing would convince The Emperor to hold back.

Seven crowns he won, and only three defeats he suffered,

With each one strengthening his will to outperform them all;

He was the stallion that many men and steeds have admired,

With his mighty rule ending by the end of the season of Fall.

He left for Japan many memories and tales to tell of him,

A legacy that will forever live on beyond the racetracks;

Symboli Rudolf, may the light you brought upon us never dim,

Rest well and rejoice in the art we make to glorify your acts.

I Wish I Never Met Her

From the day we met, Love sowed in me its cursed seed,

And like a plague, its cruel rose started to develop so steadily,

To the point its thorns would make my dying heart bleed.

The spores of the damned thing would infect my brain,

Placing her in my first and last thought every single day,

Yet I've tried relentlessly — and failed — to simply abstain...

Abstain from the idea of pursuing her, the woman I don't deserve,

The woman whose heart mirrors my own with her unique twist;

Yet so hard I've tried to convince myself to merely observe.

Listen, you dumb blood-pumper, listen to the mighty brain,

Why choose the ephemerality of love when there's freedom?

Why sell your soul for the shackles of ever-enslaving pain?

Can't you see that love is a mirage? Can't you see past its lies?

Love's like a siren: it seduces you and then just tears you apart,

It's a sweet nightmare that haunts you till the very day you die.

I wish I never met her, for she's all I could've ever dreamt of,

She's all I've ever wanted, and more — my soul's lost twin —

The one I dare declare before the world as my one true love.

Her smile is sealed onto my memories, her words in my heart,

The moments we spend together, I treasure them above all else;

I wish she were nothing but muse to my crappy attempt at art.

Her smile is stamped onto memory, her words into my heart;

The tender moments we share I treasure above all else —

Yet I can't help but wish she were just a muse to my worthless art.

I wish I didn’t text her daily, I wish I never dreamed her face,

I wish I wasn’t so willing to trade my apparent happiness

For a feeling that devours itself with ease  on a gourmet plate.

I am not the man that deserves to stand by her side for life,

I am not the man who should be lucky to wake up next to her,

I am not the man who should be lucky enough to call her wife.

Even if I know what must be done, I find I lack the will;

If only she closed the door — rejected me — hated me —

Maybe then I could escape, and let this feeling die still.

If she ever reads this, let her know I loved her wholly;

But I want her to find her happiness far from me —

For I am an observer, a supporter, not a man fit to love properly.