NOVEMBER COMPILATION (16 / 11/ 25 )

•  Godless.
• Embodiment of the Night.
• Life-long Celibacy.
• Bystander / Observer. 

 

Godless

To the one goddess that I adored oh so deeply

I’ve left behind almost remorseless nonetheless

Aware that such sacrifices don’t cost cheaply

For shards of my soul died with it nonetheless.

The vow I made, the oath, it withered away

As the mindset I constructed left no space

For the divine within, keeping that at bay;

Only the tangible and visible I’d embrace.

The pretentious shite I wrote to Her name

In the end were all rendered meaningless,

Unsurprisingly everything stood the same,

With or without Her, I was the same mess.

I saw no benefit in being ever delusional,

There was never god nor gods on this earth

It all is by nature’s own design functional

The way it must be, as do death and birth.

Embodiment of the Night

Ah,

It is truly not often that one gets to date

The embodiment of all they like and love,

Yet lucky me had the Night write his fate,

Bound to a someone who’d fit like a glove.

You see,

Her hair hangs like curtains of midnight skies,

Like waves of the deep sea the sailors know well,

Accompanied by the couple stars she has for eyes,

And the dark tone of her skin that knows no parallel.

My heart,

It sees in her the embodiment of all I love so bad.

She’s as tall as to eclipse any and all other girls,

And as strong as to lift me to the stars if I’m sad.

Oh, and her smile is adorned by the prettiest pearls.

I feel,

I feel she’s a goddess to me, or a gift from one.

She chose me, she asked me, without hesitation,

If we’d belong together like do the moon and sun.

Ever since, I’ve held her with unbridled adoration.

Her heart,

It pardons and repays as fair as it knows how to.

It loves and gives all it can, and waits for nothing.

I believe my loyalty lies with her — I really do —

For though I screwed up, she stood ever forgiving.

Regardless,

I’ve learned to be a man by her and life’s hands,

Understood through them what truly matters to me,

Crafting my every conviction into ember-lit brands

As the future forward, by her side, I began to see.

Truth is,

She deserves the best I can aim to give.

And I am determined to lead us to the top.

I will cherish her truly for as long as I live,

And care for her like farmer to his crop.

For we’ll plant,

And see bloom, the garden of our eternity —

One to decorate the manor of our romance,

As patience crystallizes our hearts’ ambiguity,

Giving a true, faithful love like ours a chance.

Distance —

The one sworn enemy to our dearest novel —

May come as an ally the day we come close;

For the gap turns our desires, ever ambrosial,

Into the strength behind our resolves with its dose.

That’s why,

Maiden of mine, I Rejoice in the efforts we make,

For it’s set in stone we’ll live happily ever after;

For if we couldn’t succeed, making our bond break,

Then nobody ever will — not even dreaming, hereafter.

Life-Long Celibacy

Once again, I stared into life’s abyss,
Choosing celibacy as my ultimate truth;
For a man like me deserves solely this—
To shelter away into some mental booth.

My ugliness has rendered me ever paranoid,
My roundness a hate that burns fiercely.
No relationship of mine survived the void,
And the voice of fear I hold onto dearly.

Because she knows I’m disposable, useless,
Easy to outdo, steal from, emotionally weak;
For before love I’m delusional and helpless,

Unable to fight the mirages my mind may speak.

Well I know any girl’d be better with another,
For I’m not rich, confident, or even desirable.
I can’t fathom being tolerated by some other,

As relationships seem to me always unfavorable.

Dating is to deceive another and be deceived,
As marrying is to shackle oneself to the devil;
And if by now total misery is yet to be achieved,
Torture is ensued by one’s clones to some level.

Being so my mindset, I retire my hand of cards;
I leave the game to another poor stray sheep,
And walk away like one of those classic bards
To chase purity on a road ever growing steep.

Bystander / Observer

From afar I behold that which I’ll never have

Enjoying the laughs and smiles they shine with,

They’re happy, some others not, and I just am;

Seeing them where I won’t ever be in my own myth.

They’re strangers to cold sheets and empty houses

Unknowing the pain of long lonely nights, or worse

The twisted feeling of crying several nights on end

Longing for what the unseen are denied by some curse.

They stand there, looking youthful, lively, decent,

Whilst I’m aging like milk and yet never like wine,

Turning bitter, and rotten as they enjoy their lives;

Jealousy’s poison dripping from these cracks of mine.

My existence I despise more and more as time passes,

Learning yet to love it whilst understanding as well

That my own path may be one of ever-lasting solitude

For I am no beauty as far as the human eyes can tell.

Standing here, I made it my goal to not interfere

As it’s not my business to enter into their lives

By chasing after those I may get to love or desire

For they deserve freedom, far from my heart’s knives.

 

My sickness mustn’t spread—They whisper and decree,

If one I must ever love, that may be Death herself,

A life full and fair I’ll live to gain her embrace

For I know she awaits eagerly to save me from myself.